Three Things

Sometimes, you don't know how much you want something until it's gone.  I'm not going to go into a lot of details about the miscarriage (that's another story for another day.  A day when I feel like crying.).  It will suffice to say that it HURT.  Like HELL.  Both physically and emotionally.  I should also add that the doctor at the ER was a prick.  ("Why did you wait so long to get pregnant?"  Is it really the right time to ask a woman that when she's losing her baby?  No, it isn't.)  

I never knew how much I wanted to be a mother until that opportunity seemed to be slipping away from me.  It wasn't until I saw DH's tears that I realized he was already thinking of himself as "Daddy."  It was tough.  

And finally, here are two things I never knew:  

1.  Miscarriages can take a long time.  I miscarried for about 6 days.  Vicodin didn't really help.

2.  Lots of women have had miscarriages, more than I ever imagined.  My midwife had one.  The nurse at the doctor's office?  She had one.  The Spanish teacher down the hall.  The blind student's Braillist had two.  My dog's vet had one right after I did.  

Oops.  There are three things.

3.  The fact that lots of women have had miscarriages doesn't help you at all when you're going through it yourself.